I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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