was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize