I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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