I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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