Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
