I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize