Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
whose parrot is this?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
