Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
