Everything about him screamed your future.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
