I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
