remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
