Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
