FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize