i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize