I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
