Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
