so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
