Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
