I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
