You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize