You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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