I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
