i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
