i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am spending my child support on dildos
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
