Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
