i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
