Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
