just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
