i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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