Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
