Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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