Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize