I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
