She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize