I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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