Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
