"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize