i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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