as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
