i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
