Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
