Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
