It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
