i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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