Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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