TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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