Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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