if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
