you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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