If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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