ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
