My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
