Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
