I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will be naked everywhere
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
