I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
