yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
