Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
