Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
