TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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